


participation medals

by adietxt



Series: ‘a softer world’ prompts [5]
Category: One Piece
Genre: M/M, Pining, introspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 09:09:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15660141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adietxt/pseuds/adietxt
Summary: Sometimes Usopp feels selfish, because Sanji gives like he doesn’t know how to do anything else, like he thinks that his existence stops to matter as soon as he runs out of things to give, so he gives and gives until he has nothing left for himself and Usopp wants to grab him by the shoulders and says,you don’t have to do this. You are not the things you give.





	participation medals

**Author's Note:**

> From [50 A Softer World Prompts](http://sleepy-skittles.tumblr.com/post/155287327552/50-a-softer-world-prompts):
>
>> Ah, unrequited love. When your best isn't enough. (Participation medals of the heart.)

Usopp finds Sanji slumped on the table of the galley.

“Nami, huh,” is the first thing Usopp says, more of a statement than a question. Sanji nods, and his head somehow manages to bury itself further into his arms on the table.

Usopp sighs. “What now?”

“It’s nothing,” Sanji immediately says. Always quick to defend her. “A lady of Nami-san’s calibre is supposed to have a high standard on fashion accessories, and I should’ve known that.”

“She doesn’t like the necklace you bought her at the last island,” Usopp translates.

Sanji’s embarrassed silence is all the confirmation he needs.

Usopp sighs again, tired. “Why do you keep doing this? You know, right, you know that she’s –” he tries to find a word that wouldn’t get himself kicked overboard by the end of this conversation. “Uninterested.”

Sanji scowls at him like Usopp’s the one who doesn’t get it. “I’m not doing nice things to Nami-san because I want anything in return,” Sanji tells him, and his tone shifts into something serious that surprises Usopp. “I’m doing it because she deserves it.”

Usopp doesn’t find it in him to argue.

He…knows this. Knows that there’s no point in arguing about Sanji’s constant need to make everyone around him happy, knows very well that it is never just about the female members of their crew, regardless of how loudly the Chef would deny that afterwards. Sanji gives because he finds meaning in the act of giving itself.

But sometimes Usopp feels selfish, because Sanji sometimes gives like he doesn’t know how to do anything else, like he thinks that his existence stops to matter as soon as he runs out of things to give, so he gives and gives until he has nothing left for himself and Usopp wants to grab him by the shoulders and says, _you don’t have to do this. You are not the things you give. Nami's a good person but she's not good for you, never good for you, not in the ways someone else could be._

_I could be good for you._

He doesn’t, though. Instead he takes a seat across the table and says, “hey, have I told you about the time the Great Captain Usopp won the heart of five women by throwing way their jewelleries? Because let me tell you, in _my_ extensive wealth of experience…” and he goes on, spinning some tall tales he hopes would distract Sanji from his own self-made heartbreak

There’s a little smile on Sanji’s face, like he knows exactly what Usopp is doing, and something bubbles up within Usopp’s chest, the pressure of it fierce enough that he feels like his ribs could crack with it, spilling the words he’s been pushing down all these years – the _I love you, I love you, I love you._ The most honest words he could ever say, threatening to slip in between his lies.

If Usopp was a braver man, he’d say them. If he was a braver man –

He takes a deep breath, and keeps up his lie.


End file.
